he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
kristin has been a bad kristin
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
