i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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