3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
