you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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