It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
