I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
