OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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