you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
