should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
