So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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