i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There r osticjed everywhere
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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