do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
