i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
