The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
