And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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