So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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