Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
