i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was confusing and full of hummus
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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