Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

dude i feel like shit

(413): View more from Massachusetts

well u did eat a lot of play-doh

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(804): View more from Virginia

ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"

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(914): View more from New York

The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"

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(734): View more from Michigan

He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before

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(845): View more from New York

I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties

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(602): View more from Arizona

Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.

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(614): View more from Ohio

this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.

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