whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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