Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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