I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
