Apparently you make a good broom.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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