you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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