Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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