Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
