just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't think brook has ever known best
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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