How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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