he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Less talking, more tequila
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
