i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
