Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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