Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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