I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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