Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
what day is it and did you see me today?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
