I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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