So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
