Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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