how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
