i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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