so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
