i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
