He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
