This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
