Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
