Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
