She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
