Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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