Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
