he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
