my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
