office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
