how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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